I now know how my own birth story impacted in my life & how it directly influenced how I birthed my children.
I was due at the same time as my cousin, whose family lived up the road. She was born with the cord wrapped around her neck and didn't ever take her first breath. As such, I was engulfed with wave upon wave of my mum's grief, panic and fear.
As these emotions coursed through my mum's body, I soaked them up.
A very real fear that I could die as I was being born nestled into every one of my cells. That life and death were tied together and that at any moment the unexpected could happen. To be pregnant and to birth were like walking the Life-Death Tight Rope, a Game of Chance where Trust took a back seat, & Life wasn't a safe place, there were no guarantees.
A disconnection between me and my mum set in, as she focused on my Aunty and her emotional needs. It was Relief that rippled through my household and an inwardly expressed celebration when I was born, to respect my Aunty and her daughter that was taken from her. Sad times indeed.
Of course, I tripped through life not knowing the deep yet subtle impact all of this would have on me and my life decisions. When it was my turn to birth my son, I dreamt of horrid situations where he was "taken from me" in all its variations. It's also an Irish term for when someone dies & would have been said a lot when my wee cuz didn't come with me into this world.
Over and over I would dream these dreams, not realising I was trying to help myself heal from this all mighty wound. Of course, I didn't have any of the tools I have now and so when the time came, I couldn't let my son out and birth him into this world where he could be taken from me, where it was unsafe and as a result, he was 'taken from me' by Caesarean Section.
As all three of my children have.
Using my tools, especially the InnerScape Quest, I've journeyed back and I've healed this wound. I have gone and held my young mum in her panic, grief and fear. I showed her just how well she does in delivering me into this world and that she can trust and know I am safe and go on to live an extraordinary & wonderful life. I've travelled back into my mum's womb and held my baby self, whispered all that she needed to hear and feel and know and found deep within her that trust, that safety, that knowing that all is well and released it. Together we rebirthed her in all her shining glory! For she Matters, She is Safe, She is Loved, The World is Full of Wonder, She deserves Life and Be Here, Life is Good, She is Worthy and Valid and that she can Trust.
I've changed my Whole Life Experience by doing this, and I know I've altered my daughter's blueprint to birth too!
Throughout the gestation period, birthing process and the first 7 years of life, we form our core belief structures about who we are and our place in the world.
By going back to our own birth and Recognising, Respecting and Releasing we can literally rewrite our neural net, our programming, our DNA thus changing our experience of life.
I've worked with people who remember exactly what the DR, Health Care Professionals & family members said to them and about them as they were birthing, and in the first few years of their lives. "He's a stubborn one" and "He so late" "She doesn't want to be here" "She's trouble" "Look at her, she's so angry at the world" 'She's a fussy eater" "He's so demanding" "He's ravenous all the time" 'She's so lazy" "She's so naughty" "He's such a pain" "He's relentless he never gives up" "She's disgusting" "He'll be the death of me" were some of their core beliefs that shaped their life experience.
One woman who, as a baby, wasn't expected to live and whose Mother was told not to bond with her because the Grief would be easier to handle, never fully incarnated into her body and never really felt connected and loved by her mum. She always felt like she wasn't really here & was never seen for who she really was. Under stressful situations, she would get incredibly exhausted and have to shut down in order to cope, which had started to impact heavily in her day to day life. On reflection, it was what she did as that tiny baby so her body could do what it needed to survive & cope. She could feel that everyone around her had given up on her in that incubator & had left her totally alone without any kind of loving contact or connection.
So, those feelings like no one believed in her, of separation, loneliness, isolation & that she just wanted to leave and go home, ( not commit suicide) just to go home, and that utter exhaustion and constantly shutting out life, resolved itself once she had gone back and claimed her rightful place and recognised and respected what had gone on and why, which brought about a natural resolution and forgiveness and so she could finally release it all and let it all go, mature up her baby self to the here and now to truly incarnate in her body and live her life!
I am so very Blessed and so very thankful to be able to work in this way with such an extensive toolbox for transformational change!
I LOVE MY WORK & the Huge Impact it is having in Women's Lives indeed in ALL of our lives!
Mum, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner & Life Coach